So as some of you heard, I had one last appointment with my surgeon this past Tuesday, just to look over my MRI and ask any last minute questions I had. After he examined me, he told me my MRI had come back and shown no cancer! Pretty rad. I guess all that suffering paid off, but I still cringe at the thought of chemo.
Surgery is in 5 days. I'm so scared, and I can't keep it in. I try not to think about it but it always comes. I don't know what's worse... if I'm mostly afraid of waking up without a boob, or of going under and something going terribly wrong.... or the creepy spinal block they'll be putting in beforehand. All of it makes me terrified and I just want to fastforward to Tuesday night when I can say it's overwith and start to deal with this new chest of mine.
My hair is falling out. I'm pretty upset about it because it's been growing for about 3 months now and I thought it was at a weird stage BEFORE it was all sparse. See ya later, awesome progress. So embarrassing. I'm ready to be pretty again and have eyebrows and eyelashes and non-puffy eyes. Even if it was just that, I'd be happier, even with this stupid hair.
OK that's it for now. I may write again before surgery but probably not.
see you on the other siiiiiiiiiiiide
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