Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Brrrrr chemo #5

Let's start with the pictures this time. Today I had to wear ice mitts and boots because the new chemo I am receiving can make my nail beds lift or discolour them so this is supposed to help prevent that. Who knows. Also, gross.

The first picture is of me texting Emily with my nose. It took forever and made my eyes cross pretty bad. The next one is of me being upset because of how freezing it was! I wanted to rip my hands out immediately, they were so intensely cold it was nutters!
The first bag was an hour and a half so that's how long the mitts and booties lasted. So basically forever. The second bag was herceptin, the hormone block, and it was another hour and a half. I asked her if I'd be sporting a fancy mustache when my hair comes back or like some swirly curly chest hairs, just to compensate for all this head/face bs. Unfortunately, she said no. They had to monitor me for an hour after to be sure I didn't have any bad reactions or fever. I hated how long we were there! 9:30-3:30.

I've been on steroids since yesterday. They're pretty intense and I don't like the way they make me feel especially because I've become a bit of an anxious person in the last few years. It's hard to try to stay calm when your heart's beating like this constantly! I'll be on them for 3 more days and then thank God it stops, but then the tiredness kicks in and apparently it's pretty heavy. Which is hard for me to even imagine because even yesterday, just before chemo, I still couldn't walk across a room without having to sit down because I would start to see black. I have to continue the shots I had taken last round (which also make you feel like you were hit by a truck), I'll be having one a day from the lovely Maria for 10 days. These cause insane bone pain and apparently so does the chemo so I have some morphine and I need to get over myself and take it because I was too afraid to and just toughed it out last time. Easily comparable to earlyish labour pains, not worth it, I see that now. So we'll see how it goes. Hopefully I am able to find energy somewhere. But if I can't, I need to remember that it's only 9 weeks and I have 5 of 8 treatments under my belt and that makes me a pretty happy little lady.

I wonder if that's everything. Am I forgetting something? That I want spring and tulips SO bad? Not even outside, IN my friggin house. I plan to buy them constantly. And daffodils are nice but a little cliche for me these days. And I can't wait to run away to Wakefield all summer and see some of my favourite people and leave with all their buttercups. UGH buttercups honestly just make me happy. I'm getting chatty so I'll get going.

thanks for reading.

Look at this fantastic quilt Kiki had made for me --- is this the shout out show tonight?
I felt like it would be yellow but then it was my favourite colour so it made my day. Happy birthday Kiki, thanks for the present! Ouch!

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