Friday, April 15, 2011


I'm so sorry I left the last post without writing again. I had written a huge post and it ended up getting lost in cyber space and I just got pissed off and said forget it.

My heart is apparently ok. The cardiologist was confused as to why I had those levels in my blood because all of my tests and scans came back saying I had a healthy heart.

My new problem (and I'm getting really sick of all this stuff on top of itself) is that I have a heavy weight on my chest and am unable to take a deep breath. I'm also finding I lose my breath a few times a day. I've had a bit of extra stress in my life the last week so I'm hoping that this is related to anxiety and that it isn't a new problem.

I'm very anxious about my next chemo. It will be my final session and I can't keep myself together about how proud I am of myself. This has been hell and I can't believe I survived it. I truly thought I was going to die over and over, as morbid and awful as that is to hear, it's 200% true. This has been so painful/nauseating/exhausting/emotional I just can't believe they put people through this. Mind you based on my age and that up until the cancer, I was an otherwise healthy lady, my doctor has given me the absolute maximum dose that can be given and 8 treatments as opposed to 4 or 6.

So there's this bell I get to ring to say I'm done. It's all I think about. I don't even know if I'll be able to do it, if you say "Wednesday" I'll ball my face off. I'll let you know how it goes. Ian wouldn't let me leave without doing it. And we'll be tired and sick as it is because the night before is his bday party! He's turning 30. I feel terrible that it was scheduled this way, we have to be at the hospital for bloodwork at 8:30am. Ouchie.

Ok that's it for now I think.

Here's a hair progress pic

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